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Coffee shops historically have been a gathering spot for poets, artists and malcontents seeking a forum to espouse their views; which just happens to be the purpose of this community. So, let's have at it.

Coffee Quip - January 2008

the Coffee~Quip connection

January 19th 2008 01:23

These two jokersters are the reason we don't have penguins in Alaska any more. hahaha....

Ok, animal coffee humor:

- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving in a bat suit is not for you.
- If we evolved from monkeys and apes, why are they still here sipping mocha's?
- Pre-Latte' or post- latte'; Never trust a monkey humping your ear.
-What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered coffee bean plant?
- If a pit bull humps your leg you’d better fake an orgasm and then have a smoke with your espresso.

Did you know that OBL has a son? Omar Osama bin Laden bears a striking resemblance to his notorious father — except for the dreadlocks that dangle halfway down his back, the leather jacket, youth and his marriage to a woman twice his age.

He wants to be a bomb and AK-47 free, emissary of peace:
Whereas, I want free coffee presses and jobs for the Iraqi poor,
A plow beaten from shell casings and donkey in every shed,
and a see through burqa on all hot female Iraqi butts.
Sadly, we can't all have what we want.

-Why do we press harder on the coffee grinders switch when we know it's unplugged?
-Guns don't kill people, lactose intolerant coffee drinking husbands that come home early kill people.
- Coffee by any other name is still, ....trimethylxanthine.
-Drink every cup of coffee as though it were your last, eventually-you'll be right.


This is an 88-year-old Cambridgeshire man who starred in his first ballet after taking up dance at the age of 79. God knows that I hate him and his tutu wearing buff butt.

Is there such a thing as leotard envy?

When I'm 88, you can bet your last cup of java that I'll be happy to just be breathing, let alone cavorting in my briefs, wearing a munition bandoleer while pirouetting on my sock clad feet. That is not a pretty mental picture.

-Never underestimate the power of stupid coffee drinkers in large groups.
-The easiest way to find your lost super mocha deluxe is to buy another.
-How come when you open a can of evaporated milk for your coffee or tea, it's still there?


Well, I am in need of another mocha latte' frappuccino, my caffeine level's are dangerously low.

Gotta go now, buy-buy latte' guy.



Raven


PS-Why does your gynecologist or proctologist leave the room when you get undressed? Mull that over with your coffee and Biscotti.

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Posted By: tlcorbin - Category: Morning Coffee News
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9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by katyzzz

January 19th 2008 06:09


Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
They can't bear the bare?

What does humping mean?

I'll have a milkshake please, oh? it's not on the house?

I'm all for helping the katyzz poor charity( yes I said charity Not chastity, altho in my case they are one and the same,) trust. No overseas shipping costs.

Love the old geyser, he'll do me, at least he's tucked everything in respectably.

I expect to be paid for this long comment, usual generous adsense rates, surprising when one is always used to seeing cents and often no cents how huge $1 looks, but it doesn't buy much, does it?

Raven, you're sometimes very often disgusting, I wondered if you knew?

With fond restraint,

katyzzz

Comment by tlcorbin

January 19th 2008 06:21


Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
It's an art form katyzzz.

What does humping mean?
Ask my sister, she's the one who had the ear humping monkey friend; I am sure it was a form of ..exercise.

Thanks for the restraint, I have no idea what possessed me earlier, it appears to be cyclical.

Comment by AmyHuang

January 19th 2008 07:28


Sydney Table
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
-What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered coffee bean plant?

Sell it's poo for a ridiculously high price to unsuspecting tourists.

Comment by tlcorbin

January 19th 2008 07:48


Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Wow, great idea Amy, we do that with moose poo now, so why not??

Comment by Damo

January 19th 2008 09:41


For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Raven
I am sorry that I missed this earlier.
I have been rather busy lately saving the world and all.

Any I enjoyed this despite being a tea drinker.

Comment by Kleonaptra

January 19th 2008 09:58


Kalikapsychosis
Oh, Raven,
As a coffee person, a funny person, a realistic person....I was laughing my ass off all the way through. Thankyou. I think I popped something.

BTW, you can sell batshit for amazing prices too. Horseshit? Cant give it away.

If you havnt seen the Futurama episode where Fry drinks 100 cups of coffee (three hundred big boys) you should!

Comment by tlcorbin

January 19th 2008 19:13


Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
And you've been doing a fine job Damo, but when a antogonist misspells Al Qaeda, you needn't worry about them checking their sources when they're to lazy to use spell check: oh, that's one of your contentions isn't it?

Thanks, high praise indeed kleo, concerning a practical use for horseshit; if you can pry any of it away from speech making politicians, you could use it for Prada purse and boot stuffing material. I haven't seen that particular episode of Futurama-it's now on my things to do list.


Comment by Krystal

January 20th 2008 10:45


feelings
This is just too rude, I'll have an iced chocolate please and look the other way, put my ipod on and pretend I don't hear what you say.

Comment by tlcorbin

January 20th 2008 11:28


Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Please sign clearly, our regular clerk is on holiday and our temp is deaf, Thank You for your order ms, this has been an unsolicited network nanny pronouncement.

hahaha, good to see you as well Krystal.

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