William Crawford
Hazel CastilloCoffee Quip from Alaska
April 6th 2008 17:51
Uh oh, the bears have insomnia and are waking up early this year. In spite of three feet of new snow in the area, bears at the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center, located in Portage Glacier, are up and about, probably looking for coffee and a snack. Usually, captive bears prefer to sleep in a little longer, but a warming spell woke them up. Maybe it was the wood pecker banging on the drain pipes again, who knows? That bird is still really, really mad about these rowdy clowns knocking his nesting tree over. His missus hasn't been right since the "incident," so, yea, you know it's bad.
What ever their reasons are for being up, they still aren’t feeling alert enough to do much of anything but watch bear television, tourists and wrestle half heartedly. Well, that and keep an eye out for that maniacal wood pecker and sip spiced hot chocolate.
Wry Quips
Alaskan fella at the quick stop counter paying his bill, asks the clerk, “ya take out of state cash,” and the clerk without, missing a beat, replies, “sure do, but it’ll cost ya another ten bucks.”
Same old Alaskan guy back at the quick stop, pays for his stuff and the clerk asks, “ ya want a bag,” the fella ponders a minute and replies, “ . . . nawww, I’m kinda used to the way I look and it ain’t raining, thanks anyway.”
An Alaskan man are known for his rugged off grid life style was hanging out with some locals and tourists, regaling them with tales of bush life, when one of tourists asks, “. . . how do you know when bear tracks are fresh,” without hesitation, the Alaskan replies, “ . . . when the bear is still using ‘em.”
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Apple Fritters with Blackberries and Faux Mascarpone Cream
INGREDIENTS:
1 batch of faux mascarpone cheese: 8 ounces of softened cream cheese, plus 3 tablespoons of sour cream, plus 2 tablespoons of heavy cream (liquid, not whipped).
3 egg yolks
1oz fine sugar
2¼lb blackberries, washed and picked
2 apples, cored and sliced into rings – skin on
2oz plain flour
Oil for frying
Powdered sugar for dusting
For the batter:
2-3oz self-raising flour
Enough apple cider to make a batter
METHOD:
Preheat the oven to 400F. Measure out the vanilla extract and mix together in a large bowl with the faux mascarpone, egg yolks and fine sugar. Place the blackberries in an oven dish and pour the faux mascarpone mixture around the berries. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
Meanwhile to make the batter, place the self-raising flour in a bowl and whisk in enough cider to create a batter, to the consistency of heavy cream. Coat the apple pieces in the plain flour and then dip the pieces in the batter. Shake off the excess batter and deep-fry in the hot oil for 2-3 minutes, or until golden brown. Carefully remove using a slotted spoon and drain on kitchen paper.
Serve a couple of rings of apple together with a generous spoonful of the hot blackberry and faux mascarpone cream and dust with powdered sugar.
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After you get through with this, it’s back to the bear shelter to clean up their mess from the blow out rage party / soiree they threw after finding an abandoned cell phone and wallet in that tourists pocket two days ago.
It's been a fight getting the hammock back from those bears.
Raven
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
I warned u about havin' a coffee shop out in the woods, bears are smart u know.
Say hello to kitty for me.
Great recipe, just what anorexic's need, fattens them up in no time, something to look forward to?
All that cholesterol, great for the brain ( ....eeerrrr, blockages) Some people never learn and u tryin' to kid me u cook it. Ho HO Ho hO Ho.
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by Krystal
feelings
As for that cooking Raven, book all your customers into the nearest hospital as their turn comes for by-pass.
Comment by tlcorbin
Yup, some of the treats may be a bit on the rich side.
Raven