tlcorbin
Hazel CastilloSaturday’s Coffee Quip
February 17th 2008 02:15
Hey, if you have a few minutes to spare, get comfortable and have a Chai or a latte’ on the house while I share my story.
Humor?
Sure, here’s a recent Quip or three that struck home:
~ Just when I started to be competitive in the rat race, the bastards bred faster rats, a high bred, jacked up on caffeine and whipped cream.
~ I woke up this morning with a god awful taste in my mouth and the cat sitting on my face trying to use my nose as a flush lever.
~ While in the store yesterday I noticed a sign, “Natural, Organically Grown, Free Range chickens,” all of that to sell me a scrawny bird with three legs, raised in a large pen free to eat its own poop naturally with little or no supervision at twice the price of un-naturally grown chickens. Who buys that stuff?
When life kicked me in the shins last year, the state volunteered to help pay for some of my living expenses while I completed training to bring some skills current, the internet being one of those services. Guess what? They forgot to pay the bill and (sic) the service provider cut it off. Now, they (the state) can’t figure out how to pay a bill in reverse. Now, I could go pay the bill and resolve the matter, but check your dictionaries for the word stubborn and obstinate, you’ll discover a fine portrait of yours truly there….somewhere. This happened just as one of the posts about growing your blog audience was getting interesting and I can’t post any responses. More Chai? Latte’?
Café Laughe’:
~ You know that you drink to much coffee or tea when the local market gives you wholesale prices and volume discounts, with the free maintenance of your custom Cappuccino ~Tea brewer.
~ You’re over caffeinated when you take an hour out of your busy day to compose and post an 11 page blog about the mechanics of boiling tea water or the proper care and maintenance of a coffee press, and are writing a second one ~ an expose of the hot chocolate industry with the remaining 46 minutes.
It gets cold and wet in Alaska, a combination that can lead to strange things happening. For example, earlier this week, my Tisha needed to something from the store about 9PM. So I fired up our ever ready SUV, (Moosik) and when properly warmed up, I backed him out into the wet looking street. Once out in the street, I noticed that we, Moosik and driver, were sliding downhill, sideways, engine idling, in reverse, no steering, no breaking and more than a little out of control. Although it was bad for me, it had to be terrifying for the person walking towards us, in the street with no where to go. Somehow, a catastrophe was avoided. But, the next day, I wasn’t so lucky. Would you care for some home made chocolate chip cookies with that refill? The first one is on the house.
More Café Laughe’:
~ When you surprise your spouse by popping out of an over sized custom mug on Valentines Day, dressed in your finest birthday suit and a ribbon of whipped cream, your coffee fetish may be getting out of hand.
~ When you become aroused at the words, “..care for some freshly brewed …,” you know your caffeine addicted has taken over.
~ When you finally realize that Cream and Sugar aren’t good names for your twin boys, you’ll know that therapy is working.
The next morning I went outside early in the AM to check road conditions and put the trash out for collection. The neighbor from across the street was doing the same. She hailed me in an ungodly cheerful manner, I mumbled my usual cheery response that can’t be shared in mixed company, and made my morning a bit more eventful by stepping out onto the street. I wanted to know if it was slick enough to be a driving hazard, which question was immediately answered when both feet were located on the street’s surface.
At first, I thought that I was standing still and that the world was moving; it wasn’t true at all. In less time than it takes to type this sentence I had traveled from the middle of my driveway to the edge of my property line and was picking up speed. There wasn’t any graceful way to stop the chaos, so I sat down in an attempt to gain control of the situation. That’s when things got way to ugly to describe, but in time I did manage to crawl out of the primordial muck and slither back onto the safety of snow covered terra firma, grateful that nothing was obviously broken or permanently injured aside of my ego. While in this ever so humbling position, I heard this cheery soul of a neighbor comment, “hmm, I think I’ll put out some gravel and salt for traction.” Not a word about my situation or condition.
I am going back to the hammock so that I can heal, then wake up and smell the coffee, again.
Raven
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
MS Paint Art
I thought you'd gone off in the next space shuttle.
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Hiya Krystal, that's my alter ego, sleepy kitten. He really knows how to relax. Here's the hot chocolate, ...careful, it hot! Business and life are great.
Good to see you both.
Raven