tlcorbin
Hazel CastilloKiller Whale, Housework and Sex
March 9th 2008 16:09
The crew of the research ship, that were following the whale and the researchers share a coffee pot. One of the helpful researchers decided to wash the grungy pot and took it into the ladies head to wash it and fill it with water. She finished the task and started preening a bit. Why not? The mirror was there and the lighting was just right, however her sense of time wasn’t. While brushing her hair, there was a light rap on the door and a note slid under the door. “You win,” it read. “Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot and no one gets hurt.”
Fresh from my pre-coffee morning shower, I stood in front of the mirror bemoaning to my tea drinking husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of soothingly telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically proffered a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and gently rub it between them for a few seconds,” he advised, smiling ever so sweetly.
Willing to try anything, I peeled off a few sheets of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing them between my breasts. “How long will this take?” I asked. “They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies. I stopped. “Honey, do you really think rubbing toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger?”
Without missing a beat he replied, “It worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
Hey! Do Tea producers take coffee breaks?
It's the start of another week, let it be a great one.
Raven
It's the start of another week, let it be a great one.
Raven
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Sorry, the whale isn't house broken or toilet trained as yet. Odd that you should mention iced chocolate and Danish, guess what I'm having now, as we speak. Green tea with ginger and noda Danishes katyzzz, eerie isn't it? Raven
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Only a single whale is white in that particular pod. As for the question where he came from: ah, usually there's a dinner and movie date between a lady whale and a fella whale; followed by some heavy drinking and the morning after when they both wake up in the same kelp bed with raging hangovers and a lingering sense that things aren't the same any more. Months later, here comes a baby whale, which occasionally is white but not albino.
Did that help at all? Raven
Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
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Comment by Michaelie
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I want to see Moby Dick too.
Michaelie
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Michaelie, we all want to see that wonder. I'm glad someone found the joke entertaining.
Good to have you visit. Raven
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Comment by tlcorbin
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Comment by Krystal
feelings
Well, at least there's a coffee shop, bit short on the quips, to-day.
I'd just so love one of those green teas with ginger and while I'm on the health kick could I have a lovely big piece of passionfruit cream cheese cake. I believe in living healthily.
And so much for your comments, Andrew thinks I'm lovely, and he's not as silly as some I could name.
But I see you've cleaned up to-night, you must be getting yourself organised, or did your wife or one of the natives do it?
You know I love you darling, you are always SO welcoming, even when you haven't swept the floor.
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Rude eh? Well, ah..., hmmm, ponder, ...consider, reflect... you think? ..it's just an art form, yeah, that's it..no. It was an anomaly. There is the Andrew factor...., thinking...., ah, got it. I've been out of my anti-psychotic med's for a week. No-not it, huh...wow this hurt, introspecting...eh. And your point is?
Here's a hot mug of Green Tea and ginger, and a fresh, lovely, big piece of calorie free passion fruit cream cheese cake. Lemme kick a few piles of floor sweepings out of the way and brush the table off a bit. Didja want the fries? Oh, right, not with desert.
Phew, glad the health inspector just had lunch and left. He comes bye every Monday for a treat.
The place gets pretty messed up during the lunch rush, always good to see you, whoops, watch out for the spilled katsup on the table.
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Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip